I do not fancy myself as a writer. I am frequently taken in by delusions of grandeur but writing is not one of them. I deem it to be a talent given only to the special few. I do understand some of my strengths and though i cannot place writing in the basket of “Personal strengths” i can place it in the basket of “Survival abilities”.
To go through life famous quotes do say that one must ‘remember the past but not dwell on it’ and others say we need to look back and learn from the past to avoid making the similar mistakes in our future. Writing affords me just that for what i was not blessed with in the memory department i try and make up for by putting down on paper (and more recently in electronic ink of zeros and ones).
Hence i survive. Glancing back yet looking forward.
I have kept a diary.
It took me awhile to accept that this book was just that because it made me sooo…female. I called it a Journal in the 1st few years of my keeping it, that word that makes it sound soo much more mature and purposeful. Like a Captain’s Journal when he’s travelling the seas or an Explorer’s record of new lands far and wide. Note that these two examples have some common elements-
1) they are rolling in uncharted or treacherous territory and
2)they keep records for clarity to those who’ll require to go over details of their travels maybe in the hopes of learning or figuring out what went wrong.
Thus, in a way, i am founded in calling my Diary a Journal. For i do not know what life holds for me, only God does. And i keep my records in the hope that when my daughter is old enough she’ll be able to see me not from the point of view of ‘mummy’ but also with the thought that i went through everything she will go through. And maybe, just maybe, she’ll learn..